Minimally Conditional Love

  • In response to the following statement: “You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, with unconditional love and support.”

Unconditional love is a lie, and any time someone suggests we can expect it they lose credibility with me. It would be better if we could talk in terms of minimally conditional love, and when we own up to our minimal conditions for loving someone, we should also ensure that we’re living up to those minimal conditions ourselves. Otherwise we’re just living in a victim mentality.
It’s also a dangerous concept, because if we think others should love us unconditionally, we might in turn think we should love them unconditionally, and put up with any amount of bullshit.

But yes, hell yes, when we’re meeting our minimal conditions ourselves, we can also require them in a relationship. We deserve them. Everyone does.

I think kindness, respect, and compassion are a great set of minimal conditions.

Original Facebook post