My general philosophy is that your actions ARE NOT your fault (consequences of your genes and circumstances which are the consequence of other’s genes and circumstances which all existed long before you were born), but that they ARE your responsibility (it’s not fair, but it seems like the best way to function well together and to reduce suffering).
Consider watching the Will Smith video on fault vs responsibility if you need a little more convincing.
Anyway, I’m realizing that maybe the reason people seem to struggle so much with this perspective in this heavily Christian influenced society is because Christianity teaches the opposite: Your actions ARE your fault (sin, shame, you should feel awful, repent, etc), but they ARE NOT your responsibility (only Jesus can save you from them).