There are things which aren’t your fault but which are your responsibility, and there are things which are your fault but which aren’t your responsibility. These may be the exceptions, but allowing for them is useful in correcting corrosive irresponsibility and destructive fault-finding, both in others and yourself.

• Reader response: So that I have a better understanding of what you’re talking about, can you give me an example or two?

• My response: Sure. Here’s a simple one. I started a new job recently. The problems I inherited aren’t my fault, but many of them are my responsibility. Similarly, I left my previous job. Some of the problems there are my fault, but they are no longer my responsibility.

• My additional response: The overall point is to detach fault and responsibility from one another. Sometimes they go together. Sometimes they don’t. I think we have a natural tendency to fuse them in several cases where they are in fact separate.